Thanks, LeBron, but no thanks

So, LeBron James made his lone appearance of the regular season back to the place he stabbed in the back almost two years ago this past week, and had to put himself back in the spotlight and open up some old wounds in the process.


LeBron, the attention whore that he is (thanks, Kendrick Perkins), couldn't stand turning on ESPN -- you know, the network that televised his "Decision" special and then created a special Web page devoted to his new "super team" called the "Heat Index" -- and seeing some undrafted guard named Jeremy Lin dominate SportsCenter. So, he decided -- in typical LeBron fashion -- to put himself squarely in the spotlight again, simply by opening his mouth.

Rumors of LeBron having an interest in opting out of his Heat contract after 2014 and potentially showing an interest in returning to Cleveland have been circulating since the lockout. Fox Sports Ohio's Sam Amico quoted several sources on this subject a month ago for a blog. So, naturally, in his first meeting with Cleveland reporters the day before his Miami individuals met the Cavs, it was asked if it was true.

LeBron responded by saying that he would like to eventually return to Cleveland, that he had fond memories of playing at Quicken Loans Arena and playing in front of the fans, that he was hurt by the reaction but understood the passion of Cleveland fans, that he doesn't hold a grudge against Cavs owner Dan Gilbert anymore for his remarks, admitted his "Decision" was the wrong move and apologized for it, and said that it wouldn't bother him to play for a Gilbert-owned team again and that "Dan's not the coach, and I can play for any coach."

His quote was: "I think it would be great. It would be fun to play in front of these fans again. I had a lot fun times in my seven years here. … I’m here as a Miami Heat player, and I’m happy where I am now, but I don’t rule that out in no sense.

“And if I decide to come back, hopefully the fans will accept me.”

Sports talk stations blew up with this little announcement, and every Cleveland news station led with this little nugget of information. And yes, ESPN made it one of their top stories, temporarily shelving their "Lin-sanity," if only for one day.

Twitter and Facebook blew up with the fans weighing in on whether or not they'd welcome him back. People imagined a lineup of LeBron with Kyrie Irving, Tristan Thompson and whoever they draft in next year's draft, if they were to get a lottery pick again, and how that team should be an instant championship contender.

Blah, blah, blah ...

That next night, LeBron -- playing in front of mostly boos but also some scattered cheers from the sold-out crowd at The Q -- had a game like he did the first time he came back here last season, and his Heat blew out the Cavs in a lackluster effort eerily reminiscent of that one back on Dec. 5, 2010.

Whether or not LeBron was serious, his comments did their job. It temporarily disarmed the Cavs and Cavs fans, and the Heat finshed their series with the Cavs at 3-0, after two close wins at home earlier this year.

Joe Cleveland certainly doesn't speak for all Cleveland sports fans, but he likes to think that his opinions are the ones that most Cleveland sports fans have. At any rate, he has two words for LeBron James:

HELL NO!!

Do you think that I would welcome you back with open arms should you decided to waltz back into our lives, after the way you spit on Cleveland with your "Decision?" The way you embarassed us? The way you added another Cleveland punchline to the many, many Cleveland punchlines that are out there? We're lucky Johnny Carson is dead, or else he would have had a field day with that one.

LeBron didn't make his decision based on money. The Cavs could have guaranteed him more money and more years, even with the sign-and-trade agreement they came to with Miami after the fact. He made his decision because he didn't want to play for Cleveland, simple as that.

All LeBron did was make excuses. The Cavs were one of the best regular season teams in both 2009 and 2010. Both times, they suffered colossal chokes in the playoffs and didn't even get to the NBA Finals like they did in 2007.

In 2010, the Cavs didn't even get the chance to play in the Eastern Conference Finals. That's because LeBron quit on his team during the series with the Celtics.

Even with the obvious tank job, Cleveland was willing to take you back. We came up with stupid, sappy song parodies to lure you back. Gilbert commissioned a Family Guy-esque cartoon made about you in their pitch to keep you aboard. Gilbert hired members of your entourage to the front office, and no move the Cavs made from 2006-2010 wasn't made without your consent.

The signing of Larry Hughes? LeBron stamp of approval.

The trade for Delonte West, Ben Wallace and Wally Szczerbiak? LeBron stamp of approval.

The trade for Mo Williams? LeBron stamp of approval.

The trade for Shaquille O'Neal? LeBron stamp of approval.

The trade of Zydrunas Ilgauskas for Antawn Jamison, and the subsequent re-signing of 'Z'? LeBron stamp of approval.

LeBron claims he couldn't win a title all by himself. That's great. But you signed off on all the help that Gilbert and Danny Ferry tried to give you.

You had a coach in Mike Brown you used like a puppet. You loved him when things went well, but then blasted him and turned on him in the playoffs when he dared try to stand up to you. Now, you have a similar coach in Erik Spoelstra, except he's got a boss with a backbone behind him in Pat Riley. Riley is nobody's puppet. You don't like that very much.

You said you couldn't win a title all by yourself, so you teamed up with your superstar friends Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh to try to win, oh, how did you put it, "Not one ... not two ... not three ... not four ... not five ..." You get the picture.

How many did you win last season? Wasn't it ZERO?!?

It was LeBron's cronie, Brian Windhorst, who went on to Cleveland radio and opened up this Pandora's Box by discussing LeBron's wish to return to Cleveland at some point. Windhorst, who began covering LeBron when he played in high school at St. Vincent-St. Mary and then followed him as Cavs beat reporter for two of the largest newspapers in Northeast Ohio before following him down to Miami with ESPN's "Heat Index," claimed that Cleveland would embrace him when, and if, he returned.

"The Cleveland fans gave Jim Thome a standing ovation when he came back," he said, presumably believing that they'd do the same thing for his old buddy LeBron.

There's a big difference between Jim Thome and LeBron James. In fact, there's a big difference between every free agent the Indians lost from those 1990s powerhouse teams and LeBron James.

Jim Thome, Albert Belle and Manny Ramirez all left because of the money. The Indians wouldn't break the bank for any of them, so they left for greener pastures. Perhaps Belle would have left anyway because he was sullen and just a complete jerk. But Thome and Manny left because there were teams that were willing to give them exhorbitant amounts of money -- money that the tight-fisted Indians could not afford.

Sure, fan reaction from Cleveland was anti-Thome and anti-Manny for many years. However, most fans realized that there no such thing as a "hometown discount," and, had the Dolans ponied up an additional year or two, perhaps both players would have stayed put. Both made it known they wanted to return. When Thome did, fans were ready to embrace him.

When Manny decided he wanted to come back to baseball this season, SportsTime Ohio (the Dolans' own network) polled callers on whether or not they'd welcome him back to the Indians. Overwhelmingly, there was support among Cleveland fans to have Manny Ramirez back in a Tribe uniform, even with a steroid suspension looming.

Cleveland fans (and Joe Cleveland is one of them) are great at holding grudges. We booed Carlos Boozer every time he came back, although that has softened since LeBron did what he did. We booed Gerard Warren at a Patriots game last year, even though he hadn't played for the Browns in almost six years. Heck, some of us still boo Bill Belichick, even though he hasn't coached in Cleveland since 1995.

But, LeBron's act of betrayal only ranks him below Art Modell on the Cleveland public enemy scale. All Modell did was move the Cleveland Browns out of town and lie about it every step of the way. He hasn't returned to Northeast Ohio since 1995, and that's because he fears for his life.

LeBron still returns to Akron, but I believe he's starting to realize just how good he had it in Cleveland. He was the undisputed "King James" in these parts. Ownership and coahces cow-towed to him. His under-tipping became a stuff of urban legend around these parts, but people accepted it. Fans bought his jersies in droves. They believed he would bring a championship to Cleveland.

But he didn't, and he left when he couldn't do it. And the fans responded with anger, hurt, vitrol ... all things that have supposedly stunned and hurt LeBron.

Yahoo! Sports has added fuel to this fire when they quoted various sources as saying that LeBron sent emissaries to Dan Gilbert during the summer proclaiming his desire to return to Cleveland and that he would be open to it. Gilbert never responded, and has not responded publicly to LeBron's recent comments that all but confirm this notion.

Nor will he, due to NBA tampering rules. Sure, that didn't stop Pat Riley from doing the same thing in 2009, but whatever.

Speaking of Riley, he is livid that LeBron would openly flirt back with Cleveland like he has, especially in the middle of a season. They stood by him through his struggles last season to fit in and through his collapse in the NBA Finals with Dallas. LeBron has two-and-a-half more years left in Miami, and they are incredulous that he's already plotting his escape.

Sounds a little familiar, no? Didn't we, as Cleveland fans and the Cavs organizaion, go through that same song and dance for the three seasons after LeBron signed his contract extension? The same exact contract extention that Wade and Bosh agreed to shortly after LeBron agreed to his?

Would Gilbert stick by his principles, or would he put things aside for the betterment of his business? Sure, there would be a reaction from either side of the fense if LeBron were to re-sign with the Cavs for 2014-15. Or, would he sell his team before he would even think of bringing him back?

If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't Gilbert enjoy telling LeBron what LeBron essentially told the world back in July of 2010?

Instead of Cleveland not being worthy of LeBron, perhaps it would be LeBron who is not worthy for Cleveland.

Mrs. Joe Cleveland (yes, there is a Mrs.) came up with a list of things that LeBron should have to do if he wanted to come back. One of those was that he had to sit in every single seat in The Q -- all 20,562 of them -- for a minute each to put himself in the shoes of the fans he betrayed. Another was to take a bottle of his VitaminWater, dump it out, refill it with water straight from the Cuyahoga River, and drink it, so that he could physically feel what the fans felt like when he said he was "taking his talents to South Beach."

What would it take for you to welcome him back? Or, are you like Joe Cleveland and have this response for him?

Thanks, LeBron, but no thanks.

Until next time, remember that Cleveland Rocks!