Thanks, LeBron, but no thanks

So, LeBron James made his lone appearance of the regular season back to the place he stabbed in the back almost two years ago this past week, and had to put himself back in the spotlight and open up some old wounds in the process.


LeBron, the attention whore that he is (thanks, Kendrick Perkins), couldn't stand turning on ESPN -- you know, the network that televised his "Decision" special and then created a special Web page devoted to his new "super team" called the "Heat Index" -- and seeing some undrafted guard named Jeremy Lin dominate SportsCenter. So, he decided -- in typical LeBron fashion -- to put himself squarely in the spotlight again, simply by opening his mouth.

Rumors of LeBron having an interest in opting out of his Heat contract after 2014 and potentially showing an interest in returning to Cleveland have been circulating since the lockout. Fox Sports Ohio's Sam Amico quoted several sources on this subject a month ago for a blog. So, naturally, in his first meeting with Cleveland reporters the day before his Miami individuals met the Cavs, it was asked if it was true.

LeBron responded by saying that he would like to eventually return to Cleveland, that he had fond memories of playing at Quicken Loans Arena and playing in front of the fans, that he was hurt by the reaction but understood the passion of Cleveland fans, that he doesn't hold a grudge against Cavs owner Dan Gilbert anymore for his remarks, admitted his "Decision" was the wrong move and apologized for it, and said that it wouldn't bother him to play for a Gilbert-owned team again and that "Dan's not the coach, and I can play for any coach."

His quote was: "I think it would be great. It would be fun to play in front of these fans again. I had a lot fun times in my seven years here. … I’m here as a Miami Heat player, and I’m happy where I am now, but I don’t rule that out in no sense.

“And if I decide to come back, hopefully the fans will accept me.”

Sports talk stations blew up with this little announcement, and every Cleveland news station led with this little nugget of information. And yes, ESPN made it one of their top stories, temporarily shelving their "Lin-sanity," if only for one day.

Twitter and Facebook blew up with the fans weighing in on whether or not they'd welcome him back. People imagined a lineup of LeBron with Kyrie Irving, Tristan Thompson and whoever they draft in next year's draft, if they were to get a lottery pick again, and how that team should be an instant championship contender.

Blah, blah, blah ...

That next night, LeBron -- playing in front of mostly boos but also some scattered cheers from the sold-out crowd at The Q -- had a game like he did the first time he came back here last season, and his Heat blew out the Cavs in a lackluster effort eerily reminiscent of that one back on Dec. 5, 2010.

Whether or not LeBron was serious, his comments did their job. It temporarily disarmed the Cavs and Cavs fans, and the Heat finshed their series with the Cavs at 3-0, after two close wins at home earlier this year.

Joe Cleveland certainly doesn't speak for all Cleveland sports fans, but he likes to think that his opinions are the ones that most Cleveland sports fans have. At any rate, he has two words for LeBron James:

HELL NO!!

Do you think that I would welcome you back with open arms should you decided to waltz back into our lives, after the way you spit on Cleveland with your "Decision?" The way you embarassed us? The way you added another Cleveland punchline to the many, many Cleveland punchlines that are out there? We're lucky Johnny Carson is dead, or else he would have had a field day with that one.

LeBron didn't make his decision based on money. The Cavs could have guaranteed him more money and more years, even with the sign-and-trade agreement they came to with Miami after the fact. He made his decision because he didn't want to play for Cleveland, simple as that.

All LeBron did was make excuses. The Cavs were one of the best regular season teams in both 2009 and 2010. Both times, they suffered colossal chokes in the playoffs and didn't even get to the NBA Finals like they did in 2007.

In 2010, the Cavs didn't even get the chance to play in the Eastern Conference Finals. That's because LeBron quit on his team during the series with the Celtics.

Even with the obvious tank job, Cleveland was willing to take you back. We came up with stupid, sappy song parodies to lure you back. Gilbert commissioned a Family Guy-esque cartoon made about you in their pitch to keep you aboard. Gilbert hired members of your entourage to the front office, and no move the Cavs made from 2006-2010 wasn't made without your consent.

The signing of Larry Hughes? LeBron stamp of approval.

The trade for Delonte West, Ben Wallace and Wally Szczerbiak? LeBron stamp of approval.

The trade for Mo Williams? LeBron stamp of approval.

The trade for Shaquille O'Neal? LeBron stamp of approval.

The trade of Zydrunas Ilgauskas for Antawn Jamison, and the subsequent re-signing of 'Z'? LeBron stamp of approval.

LeBron claims he couldn't win a title all by himself. That's great. But you signed off on all the help that Gilbert and Danny Ferry tried to give you.

You had a coach in Mike Brown you used like a puppet. You loved him when things went well, but then blasted him and turned on him in the playoffs when he dared try to stand up to you. Now, you have a similar coach in Erik Spoelstra, except he's got a boss with a backbone behind him in Pat Riley. Riley is nobody's puppet. You don't like that very much.

You said you couldn't win a title all by yourself, so you teamed up with your superstar friends Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh to try to win, oh, how did you put it, "Not one ... not two ... not three ... not four ... not five ..." You get the picture.

How many did you win last season? Wasn't it ZERO?!?

It was LeBron's cronie, Brian Windhorst, who went on to Cleveland radio and opened up this Pandora's Box by discussing LeBron's wish to return to Cleveland at some point. Windhorst, who began covering LeBron when he played in high school at St. Vincent-St. Mary and then followed him as Cavs beat reporter for two of the largest newspapers in Northeast Ohio before following him down to Miami with ESPN's "Heat Index," claimed that Cleveland would embrace him when, and if, he returned.

"The Cleveland fans gave Jim Thome a standing ovation when he came back," he said, presumably believing that they'd do the same thing for his old buddy LeBron.

There's a big difference between Jim Thome and LeBron James. In fact, there's a big difference between every free agent the Indians lost from those 1990s powerhouse teams and LeBron James.

Jim Thome, Albert Belle and Manny Ramirez all left because of the money. The Indians wouldn't break the bank for any of them, so they left for greener pastures. Perhaps Belle would have left anyway because he was sullen and just a complete jerk. But Thome and Manny left because there were teams that were willing to give them exhorbitant amounts of money -- money that the tight-fisted Indians could not afford.

Sure, fan reaction from Cleveland was anti-Thome and anti-Manny for many years. However, most fans realized that there no such thing as a "hometown discount," and, had the Dolans ponied up an additional year or two, perhaps both players would have stayed put. Both made it known they wanted to return. When Thome did, fans were ready to embrace him.

When Manny decided he wanted to come back to baseball this season, SportsTime Ohio (the Dolans' own network) polled callers on whether or not they'd welcome him back to the Indians. Overwhelmingly, there was support among Cleveland fans to have Manny Ramirez back in a Tribe uniform, even with a steroid suspension looming.

Cleveland fans (and Joe Cleveland is one of them) are great at holding grudges. We booed Carlos Boozer every time he came back, although that has softened since LeBron did what he did. We booed Gerard Warren at a Patriots game last year, even though he hadn't played for the Browns in almost six years. Heck, some of us still boo Bill Belichick, even though he hasn't coached in Cleveland since 1995.

But, LeBron's act of betrayal only ranks him below Art Modell on the Cleveland public enemy scale. All Modell did was move the Cleveland Browns out of town and lie about it every step of the way. He hasn't returned to Northeast Ohio since 1995, and that's because he fears for his life.

LeBron still returns to Akron, but I believe he's starting to realize just how good he had it in Cleveland. He was the undisputed "King James" in these parts. Ownership and coahces cow-towed to him. His under-tipping became a stuff of urban legend around these parts, but people accepted it. Fans bought his jersies in droves. They believed he would bring a championship to Cleveland.

But he didn't, and he left when he couldn't do it. And the fans responded with anger, hurt, vitrol ... all things that have supposedly stunned and hurt LeBron.

Yahoo! Sports has added fuel to this fire when they quoted various sources as saying that LeBron sent emissaries to Dan Gilbert during the summer proclaiming his desire to return to Cleveland and that he would be open to it. Gilbert never responded, and has not responded publicly to LeBron's recent comments that all but confirm this notion.

Nor will he, due to NBA tampering rules. Sure, that didn't stop Pat Riley from doing the same thing in 2009, but whatever.

Speaking of Riley, he is livid that LeBron would openly flirt back with Cleveland like he has, especially in the middle of a season. They stood by him through his struggles last season to fit in and through his collapse in the NBA Finals with Dallas. LeBron has two-and-a-half more years left in Miami, and they are incredulous that he's already plotting his escape.

Sounds a little familiar, no? Didn't we, as Cleveland fans and the Cavs organizaion, go through that same song and dance for the three seasons after LeBron signed his contract extension? The same exact contract extention that Wade and Bosh agreed to shortly after LeBron agreed to his?

Would Gilbert stick by his principles, or would he put things aside for the betterment of his business? Sure, there would be a reaction from either side of the fense if LeBron were to re-sign with the Cavs for 2014-15. Or, would he sell his team before he would even think of bringing him back?

If the shoe were on the other foot, wouldn't Gilbert enjoy telling LeBron what LeBron essentially told the world back in July of 2010?

Instead of Cleveland not being worthy of LeBron, perhaps it would be LeBron who is not worthy for Cleveland.

Mrs. Joe Cleveland (yes, there is a Mrs.) came up with a list of things that LeBron should have to do if he wanted to come back. One of those was that he had to sit in every single seat in The Q -- all 20,562 of them -- for a minute each to put himself in the shoes of the fans he betrayed. Another was to take a bottle of his VitaminWater, dump it out, refill it with water straight from the Cuyahoga River, and drink it, so that he could physically feel what the fans felt like when he said he was "taking his talents to South Beach."

What would it take for you to welcome him back? Or, are you like Joe Cleveland and have this response for him?

Thanks, LeBron, but no thanks.

Until next time, remember that Cleveland Rocks!

Super Blog II

Another Super Bowl, and another year that Joe Cleveland won't see his favorite team participating in it.

Normally, though, there's always a reason to root against a certain team that's playing in the Super Bowl. This year, that team is the New England Patriots.

Why root against the Patriots? Well, here's a few reasons for you.

For starters, the Patriots are considered a Boston team. Boston has been everything that Cleveland isn't over the last 10 years when it comes to sports, and networks like ESPN (based in nearby Bristol, Conn.) are always ever-so-happy to heap the love onto the Beaneaters. The supposedly cursed Red Sox have won two World Series titles (and knocked off the Indians to win the last one back in 2007-08). The Celtics won their 17th NBA title back in 07 and have also been a thorn in the Cavs' side when the Cavs were in the playoffs. The Bruins won the Stanley Cup last season. And, of course, the Patriots won three Super Bowls in a four-year span in the early 2000s and took an undefeated record into the 2007 Super Bowl before the New York Giants pulled off a huge 17-14 upset.

The Patriots are coached by fellow named Bill Belichick. You might remember Belichick as the coach of the Cleveland Browns before Judas Modell decided to move the franchise to Baltimore. Belichick went 37-45 as the coach of the Browns, with one winning season (and one playoff season) during his tenure. He cut Bernie Kosar in 1993, even though his desired starter (Vinny Testaverde) was out for several weeks and the Browns were 5-3 and in contention for a division title (that team wound up 7-9 and Kosar wound up playing in the Super Bowl that year with the Dallas Cowboys). During the playoff season, the Browns were beaten three times by the Steelers (including in the divisonal round of the playoffs). And, his team slumped from 11-5 in 1994 to 5-11 in 1995 as rumors and talk of a move to Baltimore demoralized the team.

No one figured Belichick would become the next great NFL coach after Modell fired him on Valentine's Day 1996 -- the first official act of the "Baltimore NFL Franchise" (they weren't named the Ravens yet). Heck, no one figured he'd even get another head coaching gig. But things lined up well for Belichick when he went to the Patriots in 2000. Drew Bledsoe's injury gave Tom Brady the job. The Patriots went to three Super Bowls in four seasons and won all three by three points apiece (the first two on field goals on the final play from scrimmage). Of course, there was allegations of cheating with Spygate, which included those first three Super Bowl wins, and then there was the chance for 19-0 in the wake of Spygate that came crashing down as an unknown receiver named David Tyree pinned a football to his helmet.

I think most Browns fans are over Belichick and the disappointment. However, there is something deep down inside of every Browns fan, I believe, that loves to see the so-called "genius" get his. I think that's why you'll see a lot of Giants fans in these parts today.

Let's not forget former Browns bust and the "nicest man Pittsburgh police have ever arrested" Gerard Warren, who is a backup defensive lineman for New England. Warren is the poster child for everything that went wrong with the Butch Davis Era of the Browns, especially since Davis took "Big Money" with the third-overall pick of the 2001 NFL Draft, passing up LaDainian Tomlinson and Richard Seymour, among others. Warren turned off fans with his lacksadaisical efforts on the field and his big bluster off the field, and many weren't sad to see him go four seasons later when he was dealt to the Denver Broncos for a fourth-round draft pick. Since then, Warren bounced from the Broncos to the Raiders to the Patriots, even getting cut after training camp this year. He claims that he was "misunderstood" in Cleveland and that the problem was everyone else around him. Sorry, Big Money, but the buck stops with you. It sickens me that a lazy (bleep) like you could slack your way into a 10-plus year NFL career and wind up in a Super Bowl. I hope to hell you don't get a ring out of it, either.

How about Chad Johnson, or Ochocinco? Forgot that he was a member of the Patriots? I think the Patriots forgot he was a member of their organization until he showed up on Media Day of the Super Bowl. Another poster child for the spoiled, pretentious diva NFL athlete, Johnson/Ochocinco preened and talked trash for his entire career with the Bengals. He was more concerned about touchdown dances than he was actually getting those touchdowns and helping his team win. He was a distraction that fueled opponents and angered his coach. The Bengals only went to the playoffs twice during his career with them, and never won a game. In New England, he couldn't grasp the offense, dropped passes during his few chances, and quickly disappeared from the gameplan. He had to check his attitude at the door or he would have been shown it very quickly. He'll be lucky to even play today. But, like Gerard Warren, it bothers me that a guy who slacked his way through an NFL career and put himself above his team all the time has a chance to win a Super Bowl ring.

And, don't you think Tom Brady has won enough Super Bowl rings and had enough of a charmed life already?

Yes, there's guys like Wes Welker and Julian Edelman and Twinsburg's Zoltan Mesko that you like to root for. But the negatives outweigh the positives.

No team with seven regular season losses or more has ever won a Super Bowl (there have been a few teams that have had the chance, most recently the Arizona Cardinals of 2008). But, I think that changes after today.

Giants 27, Patriots 24. Joe Cleveland says so.

***

Belichick isn't the only former Browns coach to wind up in a Super Bowl with another team. He's just the first to win one.

Forrest Gregg, who became the Browns head coach from 1975-77, compiling only one winning season during that span, went down to rival Cincinnati two seasons after his firing by Modell and, in his second year with the Bengals, took them to their first Super Bowl. They lost to the 49ers, 26-21, at the Pontiac Silverdome, but the fact that Gregg did it with Paul Brown's team (and Modell and Brown did not like each other at all) surely stuck in Modell's craw.

However, every other head coach employed by the Browns (and there have been 13 total) has never gotten to a Super Bowl or won one after leaving the Browns. Belichick is the only one to become a champion, and even he spent four seasons back with Bill Parcells as an assistant coach with both the Patriots and the Jets before getting his second head coaching chance.

Not even the great Paul Brown could win a championship after Modell fired him. He took the Bengals to the playoffs a couple of times, but never got to a Super Bowl or won one. Even as simply the owner, Brown's Bengals went to two Super Bowls, but lost both times to a fellow named Joe Montana and the 49ers.

Marty Schottenheimer went to the playoffs nine times as the head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs and San Diego Chargers. However, his teams always choked in the playoffs (just like his Browns teams did) and he never reached a Super Bowl.

Bud Carson spent five seasons as a defensive coordinator with the Eagles and the St. Louis Rams after the Browns fired him midway through his second season as head coach, but his teams never made it to the Super Bowl. And, he never was a head coach again.

Chris Palmer spent three seasons as offensive coordinator of the expansion Houston Texans and was the offensive cooordinator last season with the Tennessee Titans. Neither of those teams did much winning.

Butch Davis never coached in the NFL again, spending five seasons as head coach at the University of North Carolina. He was fired this past season after his program was swept up in a few scandals and never got the Tar Heels into a BCS Bowl game, let alone play for a National Championship.

Eric Mangini works for ESPN and hasn't even been considered for an assistants job since the Browns fired him after two dismal seasons.

Romeo Crennel, after two seasons as the Chiefs' defensive coordinator, was promoted to head coach beginning this coming season. He hired Brian Daboll to be his offensive coordinator. Good luck with that.

Even Sam Rutigliano never did anything after the Browns fired him midway through the 1984 season. He spent a few seascons coaching in college, but never again in the pros.

So, Bill Belichick's success post-Cleveland is the exception to the rule, not the norm.

***

If Belichick wins tonight, he'll become just the second NFL head coach to win four Super Bowls. He'll join former Browns player and Cleveland native Chuck Noll, who won four Super Bowls during the 1970s with a certain team in Western Pennsylvania.

If either the Patriots or the Giants win tonight, they will join the four-time Super Bowl club. Currently, Pittsburgh (six), San Francisco and Dallas (five) and Green Bay (four) are the only members.

Both Tom Brady and Eli Manning are former Super Bowl MVPs. Believe it or not, this is the first the Super Bowl has had a matchup of Super Bowl MVP quarterbacks. The second Pittsburgh-Dallas Super Bowl in 1978 had a matchup of MVPs Roger Staubach, Harvey Martin and Randy White for the Cowboys and Franco Harris and Lynn Swann from the Steelers, and Terry Bradshaw won his first of two Super Bowl MVP award for performance in that game.

Also, the Pittsburgh-Arizona Super Bowl had Cardinals QB Kurt Warner (a Super Bowl MVP with the Rams in 1999) against the Steelers' Hines Ward (MVP of Super Bowl XL in 2005). Steelers receiver Santonio Holmes won the MVP from that Super Bowl.

Only one time in the 45-year history of the Super Bowl has a player from the losing team won the MVP Award. That was in Super Bowl V in 1970, when Cowboys linebacker Chuck Howley won the award despite the Baltimore Colts winning the game, 16-13.

The Cowboys also have the distinction of having the only co-MVPs from a Super Bowl (Harvey Martin and Randy White, Super Bowl XII in 1977, 27-10 win over the Denver Broncos).

This is New England's seventh Super Bowl. The Patriots are 3-3 going into today's game.

This is the Giants' fifth Super Bowl. They are 3-1 going into today's game, with their only loss coming in 2000 to the Thieving Bastards from Baltimore.

However, if the Giants win, they will match the Browns with eight NFL championships. Only the Chicago Bears (nine) and the Green Bay Packers (13) have more NFL championships, currently, than the Browns do.

New England has no other titles to fall back on. This will be its fourth, and will match them with the Baltimore/Indianapolis Colts and the Detriot Lions on the all-time list, if it wins.

This is the fifth Super Bowl rematch of all time, joining Miami-Washington (1-1), Pittsburgh-Dallas (2-1), San Francisco-Cincinnati (2-0) and Dallas-Buffalo (2-0). Only the Washington Redskins won the rematch on their first attempt (Dallas beat the Steelers in their third Super Bowl meeting after Pittsburgh won both matchups in the 1970s).

There has only been one former Cleveland Browns player who has went on to win a Super Bowl MVP award -- Kansas City quarterback Len Dawson (Super Bowl IV, 1969).

Currently, there are seven NFL teams that have never won a championship (none of which are Cleveland and Detroit). The unlucky seven are the Houston Texans (no Super Bowls), Atlanta Falcons (one Super Bowl), Carolina Panthers (one Super Bowl), Cincinnati Bengals (two Super Bowls), Jacksonville Jaguars (no Super Bowls), Minnesota Vikings (four Super Bowls) and Seattle Seahawks (one Super Bowl). The Buffalo Bills, who like the Vikings are 0-4 in Super Bowls, are credited with two championships from their AFL days.

There are only four teams that have never played in a Super Bowl -- the Texans, the Jaguars, the Lions and ... sigh ... the Browns. Cleveland is the only NFL city to have not only never played in a Super Bowl, but also have never hosted it.

It may not be next season, but I believe that Cleveland skid will be coming to an end, and sooner than we believe.

Go Giants! And, enjoy your Super Bowl festivities, wherever they are!

Until next time, remember that Cleveland Rocks!